


Christmas in Sweden

by DevineElocution



Series: Amor en una Nube [1]
Category: Hotel Persona, Placebo
Genre: Humour, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-04 22:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevineElocution/pseuds/DevineElocution
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>'David, what do you want for Christmas?'</em>
  <br/>
  <em>'I want to meet your parents.'</em>
  <br/>
  <em>' . . .'</em>
</p><p>[Set in December 2001]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas in Sweden

**Author's Note:**

> **DISCLAIMER:** I do not know, and certainly do not own any (front or touring) member of Placebo. Likewise, I do not know or own any member of Hotel Persona.
> 
>  
> 
> **_Happy Christmas everyone!_ **

**  
  
Once upon a time in a small London flat,**

**A Swede and a Spaniard nervously sat,**

**This Christmas would be different from years past,**

**He's meeting the parents! ...Oh. Shat.**

 

_December 5th, 2001_

_WSZ Flats Building_

_London, England_ _  
_

_10:47 am_

'I know, mom, I will. Listen, uh, I was wondering... Would you mind if I brought someone along?   No, he's going to his brother's this year.   No, he's going back home too.   What?! No! I can barely stand a 2 hour plane ride with him, let alone a week! Besides, you and dad don't deserve that kind of torture. Anyway, it's a surprise. Don't bother guessing because I'm not telling you. Just wanted to make sure it was okay.   Alright... yeah... okay. Mom... Alright, love you too. Bye.'

Stef hung up and took the phone from his lap and put it back on the table behind him. He stretched a short distance across the couch and laid his head on the throw pillow currently being strangled to death by his panicking boyfriend. 

'I don't understand why you're so nervous. This _was_   your idea, after all.'

David finally released the pillow and instead wrapped his arms around Stefan. They settled length-wise along the small sofa, with Stef watching David stare out the window at the strobing glow of flashing Christmas lights across the street.

'...I don't understand why I thought this was a good idea,' he finally mumbled as the beginning of a response. 'The last time I met somebody's parents, I was 14 and we were only singing partners for school. I mean, I don't even have a gift or anything. This is a disaster waiting to happen.' 

Stefan stood up and tugged at David's arm. 'Oh, you big panicky potato. C'mon, let's go find a gift.' 

 

**Youngsters, grown ups, and mallrats galore!**

**People milling from store to store.**

**Jumpers, dolls, candies, rings...**

**Holiday shopping was in full-swing**

_West-Central Shopping Mall_

_London, England_ **  
**

_1:09 pm_

David scanned over the necklace display again. He'd been standing in the same spot, looking at the same case for over 20 minutes, and Stefan disappeared two stores ago. David was so confused. What do you get the people who have everything? And to make matters even more difficult, what to you get your boyfriend's parents for your first meeting/Christmas with them? This was absolutely impossible.

David stepped away from the jewellery counter and considered his options. One well thought-out gift for each parent was daunting. Maybe just a single gift meant for both of them would work. Eh, probably not. Perhaps entirely abandoning the serious route and going with a gag gift would be best. Everyone loved David's humour, maybe Stef's parents would too. But then again, if they didn't, he wasn't prepared to walk all the way back home from Sweden. All of a sudden, a pair of slender arms embraced him from behind. 

'Still haven't settled on anything, huh?' Stef loosened his grasp and weaved his fingers inbetween David's. They gracefully merged into the school of people headed to the right and followed the group all the way to the food court. Both men sat silently while David stared holes into the table.

Stefan was starting to grow concerned. This whole 'meeting the parents' was supposed to be a good thing. He and David had been in a solid relationship for 6 years and officially living together since October. He'd already told his parents so much and they practically already loved this sweet, charming, handsome man who'd stolen their son's heart. David had no reason to be so deeply worried.

'You know, me and Ulrika used to make a really big card with ludicrous amounts of glitter and paint and leftover ribbon every year. One for mom, one for dad. And guess what, they loved them. See, my parents are the  _It's the thought that counts_  type, so they're relatively easy to please.' 

David looked up at Stef. Obviously he was a bit too old to make a sparkly card, but a handmade original gift was a start...

'I know! I'll cook something and bring it! I'm good at cooking, right? ...The answer is Yes, by the way.'

'Yes, you're a fantastic cook. But, um, how do you plan on getting it there?' 

Stef had an excellent point. They were flying. Supposing David got his delicious creation through airport security, it would most definitely be cold by the time they reached Stockholm. A lovely pot roast was out of the question...

Halfway through imagining the horror of arriving at the Olsdal's doorstep with a deflated flan, David realised Stef was talking to him. '...then afterwards, we watch a movie. Well, try to anyway. Mom usually gets to chatting with whichever kid is there, then dad undoubtedly joins the banter. Half the time it's not even a Christmas movie, just something funny. ...David, did I just rattle off to a wall?' 

A smile cleared the blank expression from David's face.  _That's something I can do... Original, funny, it'll fly well. And it's more personal than anything here!_  He lept up and grabbed Stef's hand. 'I just thought of the perfect present! We're going home!' 

 

**A cast, a crew...** **  
**

**'Quiet on set!'**

**Lights, camera, action!**

**He's finally got it!**

 

_December 6th, 2001_

_WSZ Flats Building_

_9:50 am_

The next morning, a long arm reached across the bed and a groggy Swede rolled over for his good morning kisses. Much to his surprise and dismay, his puckered lips remained un-smooched and his hands latched onto the edge of a tucked-in duvet. Stef rubbed his eyes and looked around. The right side of the sheets were still smooth and crisp, the pillow was still fluffed, and (after a short venture to the living room) David was  _still_  awake. Judging by the look of things, he was on hour 20 of no sleep and hour 5 of straight insanity. The room held the strange scent of two different brands of cigarettes, fresh coffee, and burnt plastic.  _  
_

'Uhh... David, baby, have you been up all night?'

The already twitchy man flinched and stared up at Stefan for a moment, as though he didn't even recognise him. '...I made coffee. It's a bit strong, but that's okay. Used the rest of the tin, though. And I ran out of cigarettes, so I smoked yours... Accidentally finished the pack. But that's okay too, because I went to the store as soon as they opened at 7. We're all stocked up now.' He finished with a drowsy grin. Stef scanned the flat as he made his way to the kitchen. Nothing was currently ablaze, and there seemed to be no charred marks anywhere. He poured himself a cup of coffee and held the pot up in front of the light. Stark black, way darker than usual. He warily sipped no more than a few drops.  _...'A bit strong'?!_ he thought. _Jesus, this puts Absolut to shame!_     

'Sweetie, did you brew the rest of that can into one pot?' Stef called. He received sleepy, nervous giggles in response.

Stef and his mug of borderline poison returned to the living room and leaned against the windowsill. The couch was covered with a dark blue sheet and had a miniature city built across it. The coffee table was pulled back a few feet and two of David's cameras along with various small lights were set up on it. Stefan was becoming apprehensive about this 'little project'. David was classic for these funny little films he'd just think up on a whim, but the last time the sofa was covered in such detailed scenery, it wasn't exactly a clip one would show their boyfriend's parents. 

Stef watched in silence while David collected all the tiny elves and set them around the 5-inch tree placed on the floor in front of the couch. He recorded the shot for a few seconds, shut the camera and lights off, and promptly collapsed in front of Stefan's feet. 

'The footage is finished. I'm finished.' David yawned. 'Voice-over and editing can wait until I come out of the coma.'

Stefan slid down the wall and walked his fingers over David's stomach. 'Please tell me this doesn't take place in the Alps...' David giggled and winked at the uneasy Swede. 'Oh god, David! They know you're eccentric, but...' 

'I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Calm down. It's some funniness with colliding traditions. Well, not all traditions. Some are holiday, kind of like, um, cuentos...'

'Tales?' Stefan corrected. 

'Yes, tales. Remember I told you about Hogueras?' Stef nodded. 'Okay. Do you know about the Krampus?' He nodded again. '...And Santa?' 

'Yes yes yes. Where exactly are you going with this?'

David sat up excitedly. '...AND RUDOLF? AND ELVES?!' he tittered. Stefan couldn't hold back smiling at the deliriously amused face a mere inch from his own. David kissed him and laid back down to explain the story behind why the sofa was suddenly a winter wonderland.

'The carrier of a nasty, vicious disease is rid of it during Hogueras. It's so vicious, that it takes a visible form and snarls, then vanishes into thin air! But this virus doesn't want to die, so he infects a nearby goat. A few years later Santa's sleigh breaks down and lands in the same field where this goat lives, so Santa adopts him as a helper and names him Krampus. Because Santa isn't the heartless bastard to naughty children that everyone makes him out to be, Krampus' job is to leave a cheeky mix of coal and candy for the kids who didn't get onto the nice list. Imagine Santa's big bitch when he finds out Krampus hasn't been leaving little treats, but he's been very, very mean to the naughty kids, making them eat coal and such. This is where the elves come in. They don't want Santa getting stressed out so close to his big day of flying, so they put Krampus through behavioural rehab where they make _him_ eat a piece of coal. Good stuff, though. Imported from Granada and everything. And! The best part is the coal contains ashes from the original Hogueras fire that expelled him from the young carrier.' 

Stefan gazed at the tiny city that'd taken over the sofa while his mind processed David's crazy idea. 'So, how's it end? Does Krampus stop making kids eat coal?' 

David shook his head. 'I'm not telling you. Okay fine. Yes, **and** he apologises to every kid he's been mean to.' He looked at the cup on the windowsill. 'Are you gonna drink that?' Stef handed the cup to David, who proceeded to guzzle the contents down in 3 seconds flat. 

'I'm supposed to go to Brian's today. Are you gonna be alright?' David again sat up and leaned his head against Stefan's chest. Not a very convincing argument...

Suddenly, Stef thought for sure he heard the caffeine literally coursing through David's veins. The dilapidated man lifted his head and bounced up with a new-found energy. 

'Oh, I'll be fine! Give a **big** birthday cuddle for me, just in case I don't see him before he leaves. I'm gonna start the editing now...' 

 

**Over the ocean and through the clouds,**

**To the Olsdal home they go**

**Turbulent weather, arriving snow-covered**

**They safely landed in Stockholm!**

 

_December 21st, 2001_

_ST North Lofts_

_Sollentuna, Sweden_

_4:18 pm_

Though the flight itself could have been better, thankfully everything else went exactly as planned. Stefan's parents had reserved a private taxi weeks in advance and the building where they were currently living was easy to navigate.

As David and his resident Swede stepped out of the lift and started down the spacious hallway, his nerves sprang to life. A mere foot away from the door separating him and the people who could potentially be his in-laws someday, he froze in panic. The backward pull on his hand alerted Stef to his boyfriend's sudden catatonic state. Stef kissed him on the cheek and wove his hands loosely around David's waist. 

'Baby, everything will be fine. You can do this.' Stef smiled sweetly. David's distressed expression melted into something of a mildly hesitant smirk. He briefly considered running the other way, calling over his shoulder that he'd try again next year, but the more rational part of David's brain and heart reminded him that  _he_  had initiated this whole idea because he genuinely felt ready to meet the people who raised the man he loved. ...And spending a week in the airport lounge, alone, really kills the spirit of the season. 

'How about you go in first? It kind of plays into the surprise, and it'll give me a chance to get the heart palpitations under control.' David leaned against the wall next to the door and reassuringly smiled. 

Stef picked up his bag and tried the handle. The door slowly swung open and he stepped in.

Even from the entryway, Stef immediately recognised the faint sound of an electronically augmented snare and soft chiming as one of the silly Christmas remixes he and David sent to his brother. Stef also recognised the two people in the kitchen. One stirring and the other scooping, both to the beat. Stefan stepped in a few more feet and cleared his throat, trying to get their attention without scaring them. 

'You might want to keep the door locked so the riff-raff doesn't get in.'

Both people dropped their respective utensils to the counter and went rushing over to their (not so) little boy. Mom was first to swoop in for a cuddle, while dad made a detour to turn off the stereo before receiving a hug of his own. With _'warm welcome'_   checked off the list, Stef's mom noticed that he'd arrived alone.

'Honey, I thought you were bringing a friend.'

Stef's signature smirk tipped off that he was up to something.

'Uh, yeah. I take it Martyn's at work?' Both parents nodded. 'Okay, well, that's alright.' Stef nudged his parents closer together then held up his hand, telling them to stay put. 'Um, he's a bit nervous and really shy, so go easy, okay?'

'...Should we save the Metallica for tomorrow?' his father called as Stef walked to the door. Stef turned and smirked before disappearing into the hallway. A few inaudible mumbles and a moment later, Stefan reappeared with his 'friend' in hand. The elder Olsdals had their suspicions as to who this unnerved, yet happy looking man was, though they only had their childrens' descriptions to go by. Stefan's uncharacteristic little fib about his boyfriend landing in Granada on the third threw them as well. But they held their thoughts, as Stef started the introductions. 

'Um, this is my dad, Bo. And my mom, Kerstin.' Stef then faced his parents, looking like he was about to burst with excitement. 'Mom, dad... This is David.'

Though David was smiling, the poor thing looked like he was about to cry. Stef let go of his hand and stood back. David felt like he'd just been stranded on an island. Finally, Stefan's mom broke her smile and spoke. 

'It's so nice to finally meet you. There's no need to be so nervous, dear. We don't bite--'

'--Not guests, anyway.' Stef's dad cut in. Kerstin swatted at him. 

'Bo! Mind your mouth.' She cautiously outstretched her arms to David. 'He's so much more than just a guest.' David let a giggle escape.

Stef's parents were slightly different than he'd imagined. They were even funnier and more open than he predicted, and after Bo's little pun, David realised the apple really didn't fall too far from the tree. He leaned into Kerstin's embrace, and suddenly, everything was okay. He started to relax and even felt a bit silly for wasting so much time considering the negative possibilities. Stefan smiled delightedly at the sight before him. Actually  _seeing_  the people in his life who he loved so dearly coming together and getting along was even better than he thought. Heart-warming was a severe understatement.

 

**The kid brother came home**

**And the Metallica records came out.**

**Grins and giggles filled the evening,**

**With no sight of a single pout.**

**Three days passed like hours**

**They got on so well!**

**It was Christmas Eve already,**

**Time for David's show-and-tell.**

_December 24th, 2001_

_ST-North Lofts_

_7:01 pm_

While David and Bo finished with the last of the dishes, Stef dug through his luggage and returned to the lounge with VHS tape in-hand. 

'Okay, now mom, you can't talk to us during the movie this year.' Martyn snickered at Stef. Did he really just tell mom to be quiet?!

She shot her elder son a glare reading,  _Oh really? And... exactly, why?_ A bit rusty on the Olsdal-facial-expression-language, Stef responded verbally. 

'Because this year's movie is different. It's special.' He popped the tape in and took the remote. 'Written, produced, directed, filmed _and_  voiced by our very own David Amen, I present to you, uh, um...'

David swooped in and sat on the floor next to Stef. 'Christmas in Sweden. Actually, I forgot to think of a title, but that works.' 

Everyone settled in and Stefan hit play. For the next 25 minutes, a stop-motion film showed the hilarious story based on blended holiday traditions. During the first scene, Stef discovered that the burnt smell that had overtaken their flat a few weeks earlier was a mix of brown paper and artificial indoor tree 'bark', used as wood for a  _real_   fire. A little post-production animation turned simple smoke into a demonic looking thing, and a few cotton puffs on toothpicks were transformed into adorable goats. A detailed ornament served as Santa's sleigh, Santa himself was built from a clothespin and a golf ball, and his suit appeared to be a butchered tie. Carved spearmint leaf candies dressed in _'ludicrous amounts of glitter'_   played the part of elves. It was hard to believe that the film was done in under 72 days, much less 72 hours... And David  _still_   got to personally deliver his congenial birthday/Christmas cuddle to Brian.

Needless to say, the movie was a hit amongst the family. 

In exchange for keeping her vow of silence earlier, Kerstin and Stef stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, talking. Martyn knew it was coming and gave up, heading to bed at an 'early' 11pm. David tried his best to stick it out, but ultimately followed Martyn's example an hour later. Bo went down next, not even bothering to try to make it to bed. He fell asleep uncomfortably semi-scrunched over Kerstin's shoulder at the respectable hour of 2am. Triggered by an impressive triple-yawn, Stef finally threw in the towel a few moments later. Halfway to the steps, he stopped and looked to his mother inquisitively. 

'...So, you and dad... You really like David?' 

Kerstin smiled. 'You really love him?' 

Stef nodded coyly and quietly headed upstairs. He had to pry his pillow out of David's hands, but much to David's contentment, Stef replaced it with himself. This turned out to be one of the best Christmases yet. Everything went off perfectly, and though he wasn't necessarily looking for their approval, Stef's parents truly liked David, and David truly liked them. He couldn't have wished for a better gift.

Just before drifting to sleep, Stef noticed a paper decoration on the nightstand written in bold sparkly letters...

 

**'Happy Christmas to all!**

**And to all, a good night!'**

**Author's Note:**

> [4-12-13]  
> Fic was inspired by the joy of putting up the Christmas tree, the classic poem 'Twas the Night Before Christmas', and a video I stumbled across entitled 'Heidy does it too' which can be found on YouTube. It's referenced in this story.  
> If you choose to take a gander at the video, warning for sexual content, it's advisable to turn your volume down, and try to keep in mind that it was London in the 90's.  
> Also, **HUGE** thank you to C for explaining the tradition of Hogueras to me.  
> 


End file.
